When I was a little girl, I overheard my mother whisper to an aunt in a hushed tone about a neighbour, “She’s never been married” The aunt tut-tutted with the same disapproving look she had when my cousin flunked his history exam.

To my innocent eyes, the said neighbour looked perfectly content and in fact I remember thinking how wonderful that she had the whole house to herself! However, my mother and aunt’s pity made me decide whatever this marriage thing was, it must be very important or people will think you have failed.

It so happens, by chance, fate or choice; or a mixture of all three, that I am still an unmarried

woman. And I often face the same disapproval from aunts, neighbours, friends and strangers. But often I think how wonderful – I have the entire room to myself!

And that’s not the only perk!

Being single leaves you with time to devote to yourself, your job, and your friends. Ever tried asking a married friend to come for an impromptu drink on a Saturday night? Ha!

This extra time though makes you ponder and ruminate over what you’re missing out on. And as time passes, you feel a sense of urgency, it’s now or never, the clock is ticking. Are you sure this is it?

Marriage I’ve been told is necessary because we all need companionship and someone to come home to.

On the other hand, single hood offers me space to be by myself after a hard day’s work & more importantly, a bathroom in the morning for as long as I like.

All the arguments for marriage namely love, sex, security & stability, are just the things that work against it too. The reason marriage is advocated is because as a society we like people to conform and give our fickle lives a semblance of structure. No one wants loose ends and that’s what the unmarried non-conformists are, loose ends flitting around, questioning and rebelling against the tried & tested.

In all objectivity, one cannot say if marriage is good, bad or evil. Is it necessary? It depends on who you are and what you want out of life.

The same label that gives some women a sense of identity makes others lose theirs. It turns some boys into men, and some men into idiots.

Think of it like being vegetarian or non-vegetarian. You can argue your case, cite religion or scientific research for your choices but only you know what you’d like to eat for the rest of your life. It’s the “eggetarians” who are the loose ends, really.