Sketch by Roshni Tharian, Illustrator at OoWomaniya.com

‘What is your biggest asset?’ this question would rather sound unnecessary or irrelevant for many sections of the society as far as women are concerned. Still, if we keep that belief aside and ask this question to a woman, she might say my home, my children, my job (if she is working), my husband etc. If we ask the same question to an adolescent girl, she might say my books, my gadgets, my college/school, my parents, my siblings, my friends etc. But the one thing that I have experienced and felt to be a great asset for a female, especially when she is under a transitional period from adolescence to womanhood, is her sense of individuality, her understanding of the sense of freedom, the importance of shaping up her own ‘Identity’.

Being a girl of 20, I won’t say that I have an immense knowledge of what life is, that I am an experienced woman who knows all about this world and how it works. But something that I acquired during the last few years of my life is this sense of knowing me and creating my own space in my surrounding.

I have seen that girls in my age group often struggle to build themselves up and make themselves known to people. By this I don’t mean trying to gain popularity or some celebrity status in college or society at large. They strive really hard to make people notice them, show what their potential is and become a part of the world that knows them, asks them and above all appreciates them. If this fails, it really hits hard to their self esteem. There could be several reasons, like the constant hammering that ‘you are a girl and so you are not capable enough’, peer pressure, seeing others succeeding, repetitive failures of decision making, constant struggle with the opposite gender, unfriendly home atmosphere etc.

This is a period when a girl undergoes innumerable changes, not only physically but also socially. Relationships, break-ups, marriage proposals, thinking about what to do next as far as studies are concerned, trial and error of what is appropriate and what is not, all of these affect greatly in building a concrete base of the girl’s personality which would last for a very long time. In such a scenario it is very important for a girl to know who she is and what she wants.

I can’t say that I have surpassed this stage. But I can surely bet on myself that the belief “I am” and “I Matter” has helped me to survive through this transitional period. There was a time when my self esteem was low, I had no confidence and I had no idea what I would do with my life. I started thinking that I make no difference to anyone around me. The thing that made my ship sailing and that too in full swing was- Music. I saw people appreciating my singing, the small prayers during the assembly, the chances given by professors to sing during annual functions, stage shows with my music teacher gave me a feeling that I am good at something and people now recognize me. This sense of being a subject of someone’s appreciation mattered and still matters to me greatly. Through this I feel that my identity holds an importance. It has helped me not only in music but also in my studies, decision making, understanding situations etc. This doesn’t mean that I have not made blunders. I too have missed many opportunities, had to let go of certain very important projects in my life, have disappointed few people as well. But this sense of individuality has given me strength to accept all my mistakes, learn from them, leave them behind and move on.

For me it was music, for others it could be something else. It doesn’t matter what it is; what matters the most is that you recognize it and use it in the best possible way to create your own individual identity in the society. For a girl, things are more difficult because she has to fulfill her responsibilities at house as well as maintain her career too.

But my question is – Is any girl’s identity restricted to how good she is as a daughter, as a sister or how good she could be as a wife?  NO. Not at all. She is much more than that. She has a capacity to stand up on her own feet, study well, get a good job, stand at par with everyone else in the society and grab from the world everything that she deserves. I feel that having an identity of her own will not only form a concrete base for her future aspirations, but will also help her to be a strong and steadfast individual who can sustain in any possible situation.