How does it feel when some years ago you were judgmental about the other woman and then after few years you are the other woman?

You can imagine the level of guilt one feels but let me confess one thing. I never thought I would be in this situation, till I fell in love with him.

I saw him for the first time in one of the business conferences where I was representing my organization and felt an odd kind of impulse and connection with him. Back then, I didn’t know who he was and what he was. It was just a coincidence that we were from the same field and while discussing things with people of my field I came to know about him and his organization. I had my first conversation with him regarding some professional matters and though I was curious to know about his marital status and so many other things, I just couldn’t ask.

Although, life had different plans for us or maybe for me as while returning I saw him at the airport and couldn’t dare to approach him but he approached me. We started talking and came to know we were flying to same city, we exchanged our email ids and boarded the flight and I knew I missed the chance one more time.

We received some material from one of the participants at the conference and we started discussing it on chat and in a casual conversation he told me that he is married and has a son. I was surprised that though I was disappointed after knowing this; it didn’t change my feelings for him and that’s the first time I questioned myself – Is this love?

Eventually he could sense my feelings and he asked me what’s wrong with me and I couldn’t lie.

I wish I could!

He asked me to meet him over a coffee and it was very awkward though I agreed with his request as I also wanted to see him. We met and that mental connection and positive vibes were difficult to deal with as we both were guilty somewhere!

After dating for a month, he informed his wife about how connected we feel and that was something so difficult for all three of us! At one end, trust issues cropped up between him and his wife’s relationship.

On the other hand, when I turned to my friends regarding my dilemma I had to hear all those things from them – “If today he can cheat his wife, tomorrow he can cheat you too and leave you for another woman” or “He will never marry you because no man leaves his wife and child for THE OTHER WOMAN”.

What I thought was, if he doesn’t love me then there is no point of him for being with me just for the sake of being loyal to me but when it comes to leaving his wife and son, I was feeling very guilty and thought that we should have never met in the first place.

Finally the moment arrived when we started discussing the reasons for loving each other and the comparison between I and his wife came up, from my side comparison between my ex-boyfriend and him. When he used to feel that I am better than his wife in many ways, I realized that she was not good enough for him because she was his wife and the boredom that sometimes marriage can bring, if she would have been a single woman, things would have been different. The same was true when I used to compare him with my ex-boyfriend, he used to claim that things would have been different if he would have been single and then we found enough reasons to break up.

Now it has been more than a year but this situation has left three people questioning the existence of “trust” and “love”.