Death of a beloved person is far more disastrous than any other natural calamity. And if that beloved is a little child of yours, then it can break you into pieces. Also, our society torments those undergoing such situations by providing them their so-called sympathies accompanied by some unwanted advice, which only hurts them more brutally. Here is a story of a mother who faced the same situation.
Some interactions jolt you out of your thought process, just when you are getting comfortable in your cocoon of thoughts…….
My son goes to the park in our secured condo every evening. Recently, I also went along with him, as the weather was good, which is quite a surprise in a city like Delhi (Gurgaon).
My son was playing, and I was just walking around, enjoying the breeze when I saw a lady, must be in her early forties, distributing candies to the children in the park. She walked up to me, and gave some candies to me too; I thanked her and asked her what the occasion was. She told me it was her son’s birthday.
I asked her to show me who the child was, while scanning a group of boys, so that I could wish him. She just smiled and pointed a finger towards the sky, and said, please wish him in your prayers, he is no more. I was shocked, not because, that this was the first time I had heard about a child’s death, but this was the first time I had met a parent who had lost a child, and was completely calm and composed. My mind was racing, how was she so composed? So calm? Had she cried enough? Or was the child too small? I just stood there, numb. I guess she understood the unasked questions playing in my mind. She came to me, and said, come let’s sit. I was definitely choked, so we both sat down, and I just smiled.
Her son was 7 years old when he died in an accident. It was a friend’s child’s birthday party, and the kids were to be dropped at the host’s house, from where they were to go together with the birthday boy and his parents. There were about 8-9 children, and the parents in a SUV, the parents were good friends of this lady. In a freak accident, on the highway, a truck went out of control and hit the SUV, and the car dashed into a divider. Unfortunately, this child was sitting at the back, as that used to be his favorite place in the SUV. He crashed into the glass of the door, and died on the spot. All the others were seriously injured. The mother said she didn’t know how to react when the father of the birthday boy, who was also injured, called her to come to Max hospital. Even they didn’t know that the child had died on the spot till then. The doctors had told them that all the children were injured, and the first aid was being administered, the wife was sitting next to her husband, and she also sustained severe injuries.
This lady recalled the events,(her version in quotes) – “When my husband and I reached the hospital, we were told that all kids are being given first aid, and couple of them have had fractures, so we thought Arjun was also one of them, and we waited to see. A hurried doctor came out and said, that one child was no more, there were many parents, and we looked at each other, confused, hopeful and finally when the suspense broke, my world came crashing down, I saw the body of my son, blood, injuries, scratches, I couldn’t move, I felt as if my feet were tied with chains, I couldn’t lift my hand, I couldn’t open my mouth. Next thing I knew was that I had blacked out, in spite of that I heard my husband’s loud cries, asking Arjun to wake up. For a minute I thought I was in a movie theater. The nurses helped me get up, I managed to walk, went near the bed where my son was lying, calm, peaceful, his mop of hair falling on his forehead, which now had glass pieces embedded inside.
I asked the nurse to clean him up, remove the glass pieces, told her it would hurt my son. She obliged, the doctors took him away to clean up his wounds. The body of my child was brought to me, wrapped in a white sheet. He smelt of dettol and other antiseptics. After the clearance formalities, we took Arjun in an ambulance, by that time our relatives had reached. I dressed my son in his favourite jeans and t-shirt, put his watch, put his favourite mini car in his pocket. That’s when I lost control, and burst out crying, I still don’t know how my tears didn’t fall until then. We bade him farewell”.
It is hard to let go off people, especially when death takes them away because death is no one’s choice. But the toughest part is you do not have a choice. What happens next? What are her relatives reactions? How does she cope up with the grief? Stay tuned for the next part to find out the answers to all these questions.
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